Leon's guide to surviving women
by Sara A. Wesker
Summary: He's been though hell and back, now he wants to get even. Join Leon, Billy, Chris, and Wesker as they teach their gf's a lesson or two.
1. Chapter 1

Leon's Guide to surviving Women.

Lesson One- Understanding the minds of the beast...we mean women.

As we walk into a room, we see Leon S. Kennedy and Claire Redfield standing, looking very odd. Tho it's just Claire that has the odd look on her face. Leon on the other hand, has a big smile on his face.

"Hello and welcome, I'm Leon and this is my sweet vict...I mean sub...volunteer Claire Redfield!" Leon pats her on the back.

"What's going on Leon?" Claire begins to look nervous and very scared.

"I'm glad you asked Claire." He snaps his fingers and two men, all dressed in black come out and start dragging Claire away. As she kicks and screams.

"I'm gonna KILL you Leon!" Was the last thing Claire gets out before she disappears.

"Now the fun can begin." Leon makes an attempt at an evil laugh, but ends up choking on air.

As this happens Leon points to the TV in front of him and turns on by magic.

Claire's first test!

After being pushed around, Claire finds herself in a big room, with what looks like something crawling all over the walls. Slowly walking over to them, she starts freaking out when she sees that they are in fact covered from floor to ceiling with leeches.

"I really hate you Leon!" Claire cries out as she looks at the ceiling and finds more.

Unable to move, Claire tries to understand what is going on, tho nothing at first comes to mind. She doesn't understand why Leon is doing this to her. She's been a good girlfriend to him. And then it hits her.

Back to Leon!

As Leon watches Claire freak out about the leech room, we see two new people beside him. Looking closely we see none other than Billy Coen and Rebecca Chambers. And yes, Rebecca looks as tho she's going to be sick.

"Oh, you're back. I thought I would bring my dear friend Billy here, along with his girlfriend Becca." Leon points to them.

"Thanks for having me here Leon." Billy says with a big smile, as the same men in black that took Claire away, come for Rebecca.

"BILLY!" Rebecca screams as she disappears.

"It's for the best Becca. I love you!" Billy yells out, but it's too late. "So what's up Leon?"

Turning to Leon we see him yet again trying an evil laugh. "Umm just watch the TV and all will be revealed."

Doing as he's told, Billy looks at the TV just as Rebecca enters the room with Claire.

Back to the Leech Room!

As the two girls scream their heads off, some of the leeches have decided to drop on the girls backs, which causes them to scream louder, and freak out. Attempting to calm down, Claire gets all the leeches off of Rebecca's back, and then she does the same for Claire.

"Why are the guys doing this to us?" Rebecca asks as she moves around the room, trying to avoid the falling leeches.

"I believe they are doing this, cause of the test that we put them through." Claire says as a big leech lands on her head.

Slapping it off Rebecca looks around the room for some kind of clue as to what they are suppose to do here. And soon enough, she finds it.

Welcome to the girlfriend test. Here you will have to answer

questions about me, your boyfriend. There is only two questions

so answer them quick before the leeches take over the room.

Taking a look at the leeches, the girls realize that there are more of them, than when they first entered the room. continuing to read the note, they try to find the two questions that they have to answer, but for some reason, the leeches are covering it.

"You move them Claire." Rebecca says as she backs away from the note.

"Oh no, you do it." Claire says doing the same.

As this goes on, the girls fail to notice just how many leeches are in the room. Until several of them fall at the same time, on top of the girls. Screaming to high heaven, the girls just run around the room, as if they were chickens with their heads cut off.

To be continued.

**I'm really sorry for the small chapter, but I just wanted to see what you thought about it. I'm starting this, cause I pretty much ran out of ideas for Claire's guide to surviving me. Tho there is still one more chapter I need to post. So please R&R thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

Lesson 1- Part 2

Coming back into the room, we hear the sound of laughter, filling every inch. Then a few seconds later, the sound of two large things falling to the floor. When we move to see what caused the sound. And what do ya know, Leon and Billy are on the floor laughing really hard. Hoping they would stop, we wait a little bit longer. But sadly it doesn't. So we send in the men dressed in black.

"They are too sad." The one man says as he dumps cold water over them.

"What the hell!?" Leon screams at the top of his lungs.

"Please don't kill me!" Billy screams as he holds his head.

Ignoring him, the men dressed in black disappeared. "Who told them to do that?' Leon thinks out loud.

Thinking about it, Billy looks at him. "I think it was the person that's behind you." He points.

Looking behind him, we see the one and only Albert Wesker. "You are one weird freak, Leon."

Motioning for the two men dressed in black to come over, Wesker pushes the blind Ada Wong, into Leon. Which causes her to fall over him as well as falling on Billy.

"Albert Wesker! Why did you do that!?" Ada yells as she tries to get up. "Wesker?"

Ignoring her, Wesker allows the men dressed in black to take her away. For the story rating, we can not tell you what Ada said before she disappeared.

"So how are things going?" Wesker asks as he looks at the TV's.

"Claire and Becca are freaking out, and if you look at the other TV you will see Ada soon." Leon points to the second TV.

Looking over, Wesker waits for Ada to appear on the screen. And sure enough, a few seconds later, Ada pops out.

Ada's first test!

Walking into the room, Ada looks around the room, wondering what kind of mess she got herself into this time. Going deep in thought, Ada doesn't notice the walls and continues to walk over to one. With a sigh she leans against one, only to have an unexpected surprise.

"Oh my god!" Ada screams as she frantically tries to remove the leeches from her body.

The moment she gets them off, she sees the room for what it really is. A Leech Room.

"Oh you're gonna pay for this Wesker."Ada says in hopes he's listening.

As she plotted her revenge on Wesker, Ada forgets about the leeches, which isn't a good idea. Cause they will drop on on you in seconds, cover you whole, before you can blink. Which is something Ada is finding out the hard way. Now normally nothing bothers this women, but having something the size of a mouse sliming all over her, just creeps Ada out. So for the next few minutes she's running around screaming.

Back to the guys!

Heading back to the guys, we see not three but four guys laughing before remembering that Jill Valentine was there with them. And if you look closely at her face, you will see the look of pure terror on her face.

"Hello again. I would like you to met our last guest today. His name is Chris Redfield, and his girlfriend Jill." Leon points to them with a big smile.

"It's really good to be here." Chris turns to Jill. "Have fun."

After saying that, the men dressed in black come out of nowhere and head over to where Jill is. But she does something the other girls didn't do. She runs away from them.

"She does know the way she went as where she was already going to head. Right?" Leon asks as he tries his very best not to laugh.

"Nope! She thinks she's getting away!" Chris barley contains himself while saying it.

As the guys laugh their asses off, we look at the TV's and wait to see Jill enter the second Leech Room. Tho it seems she is in the hallway, fighting the two men dressed in black. Now this goes on for about 30 minutes, until they somehow get her in the room.

Leech Room Two!

Screaming and running around the room, JIll bumps into Ada causing them to fall to the floor. Looking at Ada, Jill soon starts screaming with her as some leeches fall from the ceiling on top of her head.

Freaking out, Jill somehow manages to get all the leeches off of Ada. "Quick! Get them off of me! Please!" Jill sounds as if she's about to cry.

"Do you know what's going on?" Ada asks her as she takes the last leech off.

Calming down, Jill tries to breathe. "I think Chris said something about payback."

"Shit. Those test Claire put the guys through." Ada says with anger in her voice.

"This isn't all Claire's fault. We went along with it, willingly." Jill turns her back on Ada and sees a part of a note on the wall.

Ignoring Ada, Jill walks over to the note. Unwilling to touch the wall, she reads it.

Hello and welcome to the Leech Room. And the first girlfriend test.

Here you will have to answer two questions about me, your boyfriend.

There is just one thing. You have to do it before the Leeches take over the room.

Good Luck.

Turning to Ada, Jill tries to think of the words to say. "We have to answer two questions about Chris and Wesker. Before the leeches take over this room!"

Eyes going wide, Ada runs over to the note. "What are the questions?"

Jill looks for them. "The leeches are covering them!"

They both look at each other and then back at the note. Taking a deep breathe, Jill makes an attempt at moving the leeches away from the note.

Leech Room One!

Still screaming, Claire and Rebecca are unaware of the fact that they leeches are growing in numbers. But they soon find out when they both slip on one.

"What the hell!?" Claire cries out as her head hits the floor.

Doing the same thing, Rebecca sees the large amount of leeches and freaks out. Getting up really fast, Rebecca slips a few times on her way over to the note. Taking several deep breathes, she moves the leeches out of the way of the note.

Once she sees it, she finds a quick way of taking it off the wall. "Claire! I got the questions!" Rebecca runs over to her.

"What are the questions, Becca?" Claire asks as a few leeches start crawling up her legs.

"Our first question is, I once told you about my childhood pet and how much they meant to me. My question is, what was their name? The second question is do you remember our first kiss?" Rebecca looks up at Claire who has a blank look on her face.

"Those are kind of girlish questions don't you think?" Claire asks feeling a little confused.

Thinking about it and the questions, Rebecca is unable to answer either of them.

Back to the guys!

Watching the girls freak out, as more leeches enter the room, the boys continue to laugh. Up until the moment when Jill and Rebecca get the notes free. Then it went silent in the room. None of them really thought they would do it. And until this point, the sound wasn't on, so the guys were aware of what the girls were saying.

"Those are kind of girlish questions don't you think?" Claire asks Rebecca.

Turning the sound off, the guys look at each other and then back at the TV's.

"What were the questions?" Wesker asks turning to Leon and Billy.

"Well the first question was about our childhood pet's name. And the second was..." Leon trails away.

"Well what was it!?" Billy asks as he starts to get a little bit worried.

"Wait. You don't even know what the question is?" Wesker looks over at Billy.

"I picked the first question. Leon got the one he's not saying." Billy turns to Leon and waits for him to spill the beans.

"When our first kiss was." Leon whispers.

"What was that?" Wesker asks with a big smile on his face.

"I said, when our first.." Billy cuts Leon off.

"We can't hear you." The guys laugh.

"WHEN OUR FIRST KISS WAS!" Leon screams at them.

Waiting a bit the guys look at each other, before they burst into laughter. They were laughing so hard that they fall o the floor. They didn't even flinch when their bodies hit the ground really hard.

"Wow man. That is really gay!" Chris manages to say in between laughs.

Rolling his eyes, Leon waits for them to grow up and stop laughing. But he soon realizes that they weren't about to stop anytime soon. Turning away from them, Leon watches the girls try to figure out the questions they gave them. Even if they sounded very corny. Or as the others say, gay.

To be continued.

I really hope you enjoy this chapter more is on it's way!


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